So here's the thing. I have no ability to form thoughts into paragraphs or images into meaning. Therefore the rest of this entry will be in a long list form of seemingly unconnected nonsense.
1. There are quite a few half-started paintings in my closet right now. Unfortunately, after about a week I realize that I no longer care at all about the idea I'm exploring.

2. My schedule makes it where I rarely ever get to speak to my friends. Seriously, I go so long without speaking to anyone that when someone addresses me it scares the every living bananas out of me. I usually have to spend a good two minutes blinking at them strangely before I'm even responsive.

3. All this extra me time has given me way too much thinking time. Once I start thinking, there really isn't much else I can do to distract myself. Usually it ends with me realizing that I have no idea who I am, what I want, or who the hell anyone else is either. Then I reduce every belief I have to absurdity until I have absolutely nothing to hold on to anymore. At this point I wander around aimlessly for three hours unable to actually do anything or make any sort of decision.

4. When I'm not trying to deconstruct all the meaning in the world I think about things that I would say if someone else was around even though they probably wouldn't care about the topic. This is the kind of thing I'm used to talking about at home even though everyone else in the room is blatantly ignoring me.

5. Since I mentioned topics about which nobody else really cares, I'm going to discuss season 6 of Buffy the Vampire Slayer. I know there is a considerable amount of hate for season 6 but I absolutely love it. Sure, its kind of depressing. Buffy is resurrected and she spends most of the season being self-destructive, apathetic, and... yes doing Spike. Xander leaves Anya at the alter, and Willow is a magic junkie. It's pretty dark but it just makes the story arc that much better. Everybody has there dark periods and Joss Whedon always manages to balance the darkness with enough absurd humor. I should mention that this season also includes MY FAVORITE EPISODE EVER, "Once More, With Feeling." It's the musical episode and I own the soundtrack and know (without exaggeration) every single line by heart. Anyway, the last episode of the season is unforgettable. Willow tries to destroy the world and Xander saves everyone with that heart-wrenching yellow crayon speech. Anyway, I don't think anyone who reads this will know what I'm talking about. Is anyone still reading this?

6. I think its really miraculous the way some people never seem to lose hope. They can look at horrible things happening, the patterns repeating themselves over and over, and they just keep trying to fix the world. I love those people.

7. I love the Vlogbrothers. Sometimes I worry that my sense of humor will shrivel up and die, so
its nice to know that some people are still capable of making me laugh that hard.

8. In the last episode of PotterCast they were discussing the dangers of scanning a book. Frankie said that in Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Willow scanned a book and it released a demon into the computer. At this point I literally fell out of my seat because I was thinking the exact same thing. Theres nothing I love as much as an obscure reference.

9. Sometimes I worry that I'm going to forget how to talk to people, and I'm going to be alone forever with my 15 cats.

10. When I do manage to speak to people I always end up saying something I regret. I blurt things out that I don't really need to share. Sometimes my brain doesn't register that until after I've said it. Then my inner voice is screaming at me "Stop talking about your sex dreams and the giant bruise on your knee!!" Then I turn really really red when I realize that this person is giving me a look like I've just sprouted antlers.

11. Okay I feel better now.